Its A Girl Thing
by Crazy Chick
Summary: Link recieves a letter to a secret meeting, and it turns out to be his not-so-secret fans from Hyrule. He's flattered at first, but when it gets out of hand, how can he escape all the unwanted attention? There's only 1 way to find out...^_^ *NEW CHAPPY!*
1. Chapta Un!

It's a Girl Thing  
  
by Crazy Chick  
  
A/N: Not much 2 say, except send in those reviews! Sorry if I stole this idea off of anyone, cuz I didn't, but just in case... And I am a girl (what kinda guy would go around with the name Crazy Chick????) so some guy related stuff might be a little off...  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Zelda, decent socks or Heath Ledger. But I do own you! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Crazy Chick: He has issues...  
  
CHAPTA UN! (one) Girl Probs  
  
Link: Get away from me you people!  
  
A bunch of girls: Only if you can escape, which you won't!  
  
Link: NOOOOOOO! Have mercy! Save me, goddess of life!!!!!!!  
  
Before we start, lets explain the situation here. Or better yet, lets start from the beginning. Link is hanging around his house, minding his own business, but there is a knock on the door. Actually the house doesn't have a door, so the person knocks on the wall of Link's treehouse.  
  
Link: Who is it?  
  
Person outside treehouse: The tooth fairy, stupid. Obviously its me, Terry! [CC: Terry is the name of the postman according to me. This is his official name according to all my fics, so too bad]  
  
Link: Obviously? It could be Saria, Mido :P, Zelda, Malon, Navi, Ruto...*shudders*  
  
Terry: Just let me in already kokiri-wannabe!  
  
Link: Fine, whatever. Wait a second, I don't have to let you in cuz there's no door! Just come in!  
  
Terry: But you didn't invite me in...  
  
Link: Who cares! I always barge into other people's houses and they don't care!  
  
After a lot of this dumb conversation, Terry finally came in.  
  
Terry: This is for you. *hands an envelope to Link*  
  
Link: We had that stupid conversation just now just for a stupid piece of mail??? Why don't you just put it in my mailbox?  
  
Terry: It's priority mail. Besides, the giver of this letter said I had to make sure you received this right away, or, um, I dunno, she threatened me with an 'or else'.  
  
Link: I hate those lame 'or else' threats. Uh oh, did you say the giver is a 'she'? Can't I just not read this and sacrifice you for my well-being anyway?  
  
Terry: Who cares, see ya! *runs away quickly*  
  
Link: Might as well get this over with. Probably some stupid 'save kokiri forest' thing from Saria or another request to battle at the Super Smash Bros. Meelee arena...*opens letter* It says:  
  
deer Link,  
  
pleez meat me n Kakariko villige, I cant tell u hoo i am, but u have bedder cum hear at 7:00 PM writ bi da well, OR ELSE!!!!!!!!  
  
Sincerely, I-cant-tell-u-but-u-havta-find-out!!!!!  
  
P.S. which means post script cuz I no ur stupid: THIS IS A SEEREEUS OR ELSE REKWEST! .::.i know where you live link...heheheh.::.  
  
Link: How dare that bad speller call me stupid... Or else? Did she say 'Or else'? What is this, the saying of the year or something? At least every day lasts 24 minutes, meaning every week lasts 168 minutes, meaning every month lasts 744 minutes (or 720 or 672 or 696 depending on the sitch) meaning every year lasts 26616 minutes (or 26640 depending on the circumstances) meaning...crap, its 26616 (or 26640) minutes until next year??? That means every year lasts 443.6 hours (or 444 depending on the situation), meaning every year lasts 18.43... days (or 18.5 depending on the condition) meaning every year lasts 2.63333333333333333333333333333286... weeks (or 2.642857142857... weeks depending on the sitch-you-ay-shun) meaning I have to survive this torture for about 2.5 weeks? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!  
  
Mido: Shut up you random little wimp-o!  
  
Link: Up yours, fag!  
  
Mido: Up what?  
  
Link: *shakes head with a sigh* Maybe he sent the letter...nah, Terry said it was a girl!  
  
Mido: What makes you think I'm a guy...?  
  
Link: Do I even wanna know?  
  
END OF CHAPTER  
  
CC: So, whatcha think? What will happen to link? Find out, and please review! I promise this will get better, really! I'll just have to accept sounding like a broken record...uh, CYA PEEPS! Luv ya ;) 


	2. Chapta Deux!

It's a Girl Thing  
  
by Crazy Chick  
  
A/N: See previous authors note, same stuff, ya know...WTF? IT SAYS I ONLY HAVE 4 REVIEWS WHEN I HAVE LIKE 9!!!!!  
  
Some person: Calm down nikki (my real nickname)  
  
CC: That's Crazy Chick to you, some person! BTW, I'm so glad you guys like this story! If you can say the same for this chapter...well, that's up to you...and I'll stop the mido stuff, due to previous reviews. Oh yeah, by request, CrAzY_wIeRd-o guest-stars in this chapter!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Zelda but I still own u! You are my slave! BOW DOWN! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! Good slave, I'll give you a cookie...  
  
Crazy Chick: As I have said before, he has issues...*sets disclaimer guy's appointment to the shrink a week earlier* HEY THATS MY COOKIE!  
  
CHAPTA DEUX! (two) Girl Probs  
  
So, the time for the meeting is getting near...it's 6:00, and Link's trying to look 'spiffy', just in case...  
  
Link: It can't be Saria, because why would she arrange a meeting across Hyrule when she could talk to me here? It couldn't be Zelda, she has famous tutors and is a terrific speller! I'd know, I always lost the spelling bee to her in from grade 2 to 5!  
  
Navi: *sneaking up on Link* So you beat her in grade 1 or 6?  
  
Link: No, you stupid pixie, we weren't allowed to participate anymore! Anyway, could it be Malon? Maybe she'd want me to meet her somewhere else besides Lon Lon ranch, or she'd seem to obvious...Nah, it would be cucco- print paper. It's the only kind she owns and once when I stole it for a joke, she cried non-stop and didn't write (she's a writing freak) for weeks until I returned it. Ruto? Possibly, though she'd have to go through lots of trouble to get out past her curfew...*him and Navi snicker* Nabooru? Nah, what kind of business would she want with me anyway? Hmm...IMPA? No, that's a joke! *Link laughs as he gets ready with the 'final adjustments'*  
  
Navi: How do you know it wasn't me? *gives an evil look*  
  
Link: Shut up Navi don't give me ideas.  
  
Link plays the 'Nocturne of Shadow', warps to Kakariko graveyard, sprays a LOT of that spray for fresh breath, and walks over to the well in the actual village. Before he expects anything to happen, someone in black clothing and a mask on holds a drugged cloth to Link's face.  
  
Link: **Crap, this stuff smells bad...** *Link is out for the count, if ya know what I mean*  
  
Some time later...  
  
Link: *slowly sitting up, very dazed* Huh? Where am I?  
  
Some weirdo voice from nowhere: You're someplace! Shut up!  
  
Link: *He is relieved to see that his clothes isn't wrinkled, his breath is still fresh and his hair is perfect*  
  
Suddenly, without notice, Malon jumps down from nowhere.  
  
Link: Malon? It was you?  
  
Malon: Not exactly...  
  
Also, to the confusion of Link, Zelda also jumps down.  
  
Link: Zelda and Malon? You two plotted this together?  
  
Zelda: Not exactly...  
  
To add to the weirdness, Nabooru jumps down.  
  
Link: OK, I get it, Nabooru, Link, Zelda and, uh, Saria probably, I dunno...  
  
Obviously, Saria jumps down.  
  
Link: That's odd, none of you are bad spellers...  
  
Some voice from above: That's cuz we are!  
  
Ruto and Impa jump down.  
  
Link: EWWW! I KNOW I'm not gonna like this!  
  
Malon: Anyway, I just wanted to ask...WILLYOUGOOUTWITHME?????  
  
Ruto: No way red-head, he's engaged to me! You have to marry me OR ELSE  
  
Link: Oh boy...  
  
Zelda: Yeah right, we all know Link loves me the most!  
  
Nabooru: I'm not included in this...but I get money! :)  
  
Saria: What about me? I'm link's best bud!  
  
Impa: Ex-cuse me, but just because you're all younger, doesn't mean Link has to go out with you! *Impa winks at Link* I'll give you money...  
  
Link: NOOOOOO! GO AWAY!!!  
  
Mido and Rauru jump down from nowhere. "We'll go with you..." [CC: Uh, Link's hallucinating. Sorry but I'm on a sugar-high!]  
  
[CC: THE ABOVE ISN'T SUPPOSED TO MEAN ANYTHING! LINK'S HALLUCINATING!]  
  
Link: AHHHHHHHH!  
  
Zelda: Uh oh, I think he's having a nervous breakdown!  
  
::Hallucination-Disclaimer guy says "Now I won't be lonely in the mental home!"::  
  
Some other voice: Hey did you forget about me?  
  
Malon: Crazy Chick, not now...  
  
Some other voice: It's not crazy chick! Its 'some other voice'...I mean tonight's guest star!  
  
CrAzY_wIeRd-o jumps down [CC: Look, I even did the weird upper/lower case thing!]  
  
CrAzY_wIeRd-o: Hey where's Link? I need a piece of that too...just kidding! So Dave, what's up?  
  
Zelda: Um, Dave?  
  
CrAzY_wIeRd-o: Uh, I AM on the David Letterman show, right? RIGHT?  
  
Link: I am definitely hallucinating...  
  
All the girls: Shut up Link!  
  
Link: I'm going crazy, sue me!  
  
Zelda: OK, I will! [As we all know, Zelda is a princess and is loaded...]  
  
Some lawyer person chick comes in.  
  
Crazy Chick: I'm the only crazy chick around here! I should sue you!  
  
Some lawyer person chick: OK, now I'm 'some lawyer person chik'!  
  
Everyone else in the room notices Some lawyer person chik's is present.  
  
CrAzY_wIeRd-o: Oh cool, David Letterman ?  
  
Some lawyer person chik: ????  
  
Zelda: some lawyer person chik?  
  
Malon: Judge Judy?  
  
Some lawyer person chik: Judge Trudy to you, redhead! [CC: If you've seen 'The Amanda Show' B4, you'd understand]  
  
Saria: Cool, can I get your autograph?  
  
Judge Trudy: Later. So, what's your case, your Royal High [not that way, stupid!] Highnessness Princess Zeldariniapashminiahamtaroprincesschica?  
  
Impa: That's your real name? Zelda-reeneeah-pash-meenee-ah-hamtaro-princess- chica?  
  
Shigeru Miyamoto (who was conveniently there): Even I didn't know that!  
  
Malon: Don't be embarrased, my name is Malapalarinianiniocoleksheeniusspashminiahamtaro! [Read Convex Kirby's 'Zelda's Quest' Chapter 3. See Lis, I'm giving u free advertising!]  
  
Zelda: I'd know, I was there when the truth came out!  
  
Link: Hey, does anyone notice I'm here?  
  
::Hallucination-Tingle jumps down from nowhere and says "I do! Wanna buy one of my custom-made maps?"  
  
Link: AGHHHHHHHHHH!  
  
Tingle: All I did was offer a map...::  
  
Malon: I think we should give Link a rest...  
  
Zelda: You wish! *all girls except Nabooru get into a cat fight*  
  
Link: *finally* STOP IT! JUST DO SOMETHING BEFORE I GO MENTAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Red, blonde, gray and green hair is all over the floor. Everyone except Impa is covered in scratches.  
  
Zelda: I have an idea! How about we all go out with him and he'll pick!  
  
Malon: Good idea!  
  
Zelda: After all, I do have the Triforce of Wisdom!  
  
Link: So what, you're splitting me up like some kind of pizza? Don't I get a say in this or something?  
  
Girls: *consider for a second* Hmmm...NO!  
  
So after drawing LOTS of LOTS and LOTS of deciding and Link not liking it a LOT, Zelda gets the first date, Malon the second, Ruto the third, Saria the fourth, and Impa the fifth. Nabooru just got in the scam for cash and CrAzY_wIeRd-o was off in the corner doing something and didn't notice.  
  
Zelda: OK Linkie, just come over to my house at 4:00 and we can hang out, then we'll go out and do something.  
  
Link: Isn't that what we do every date?  
  
Zelda: So?  
  
Link: Who cares, hasn't gotten old yet! :)  
  
Impa: I'll be there too...heheheheh...  
  
Zelda: Aww, go fetch yourself a date with Ganondork or something!  
  
Impa: Hey good idea! Besides, he's WAY hotter than Link! *runs off*  
  
Link: OK, so that's one date less...  
  
CrAzY_wIeRd-o: Hey, what about me? What a rip off! As for me, I'm going to score a date with David Letterman-see ya! *disappears*  
  
Suddenly, there is a bunch of noise from outside...wherever they were.  
  
A bunch of girl voices: WHAT ABOUT US????????!?!?!?!?!?!? We need dates with Link too!  
  
Zelda: *shoves aside curtains for window, sees a trillion (well, at least 10...no, about 100) girls outside cheering and holding up protest signs. Lots of the signs said 'I love you Link!'  
  
Malon: I think you have a lot of fans, Link.  
  
Link: I think I'm gonna enjoy this...*looks out window* WHOA! I didn't expect this many hot chicks!  
  
Zelda/Malon/Saria/Ruto: AHEEEEEEEEEM!  
  
Link: Um sorry, except Ruto, you can just forget about it.  
  
Ruto: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! *runs off crying*  
  
King Zora: *slams down the door* What are you people doing to make my Ruto baby cry! Hey wait a second, Ruto you're supposed to be in, its past your curfew!  
  
Ruto: Help me get home daddy! I feel sooooo alone!  
  
King Zora: I'm here already, why not.  
  
Zelda: Um, you have to pay for that door.  
  
King Zora: I have a better idea. *Crazy Chick uses her magical author powers that help King Zora restore the door* As long as I'm in the way of the door, no one can get in!  
  
Malon: Or you could just lock the door and leave us alone?  
  
King Zora: Fine then be that way. *goes outside* WHOA! Look at all the hot chicks! No wonder Ruto doesn't have a chance with Link...oops.  
  
As you probably know by now, lots of screaming and crying occurs but I won't get into all that.  
  
Link: This is the life.  
  
Zelda: You actually like all this attention Link?  
  
Link: Obviously!  
  
Zelda: Now, how are we going to get around all those people without them going all crazy?  
  
Crazy Chick/crazy weird-o: Somebody call me?  
  
Saria: Weren't you supposed to be asking out David Letterman?  
  
Crazy Chick: I was?  
  
Crazy weird-o: Oh yeah I was! *runs off again*  
  
.:Some weirdo voice: Will Zelda, Link, Saria, Ruto (she came back inside after her dad dissed her suckily) and Malon make it outside alive? Who are all those girls, and what do they want? And WHERE is Navi? Find out! (or not...):.  
  
END OF CHAPTER  
  
CC: So whatcha think? This was totally not up to my expectations, I'm not feeling funny right now (just hyper) Oh well, review *OR ELSE*! IMEANIT!  
  
CrAzY_wIeRd-o, sorry you didn't do much in the story, but at least you were in it! Now about those reviews...*hint hint*  
  
Disclaimer: SeNd In YoUr ReViEwS! yA wOnT rEgReT iT!  
  
While ur at it why not review The Zelda Characters Go 2 School also? Its a good story but no one reviews lots! :'''''''( 


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